Why do we need to sleep? Why is sleep so essential?

I have a secret desire, I wanna be superwoman but it is no longer a secret now because I just told you.

Dim Sum yesterday was fantastic! woohoo! Was really full! Went Billy Bomber at Clarke Quay after dim sum! goodness! Can’t leave that place man. Work go there already now go out still hang around there. ahhh! sheesh!

Anyway had lots of fun!

Surprise succeeded!

I like Holland V! Who wanna go there with me again?

I am really bored in school and I don’t know how to start on this stupid assignment I have.

D-day.

Don’t cross the line. Thank you. I don’t think we really know each another. I don’t know what are you up to but it really is bothering me because it concerns people I care. What’s up? Be a man.

This is getting out of control…

-千言万语，

I really can’t wait for Wednesday! It has been a while since I last saw them! hehh! Can’t wait! but… before that I need to work doubly hard! 3 assignments and 1 test! Why am I still blogging?

Having a real badd headache and I can’t sleep… The construction was still going on at 6pm?!

Went for the Tiong Bahru dim sum today and wasn’t really nice so I am waiting for Wednesday!

I wish for a little more time. I will not apologize again because it does not matter anymore…

This is how superficial a relationship can get and I just cannot understand it. Agendas and motives they leave me hanging in the air…

Okay. I am determined!

Jiayoux!

I know I can do it!

-it is times like this that allows me to draw closer to Him than ever before… He waste no pain…

I don’t know what have I done or why are you so affected by me… 我们是朋友吗？朋友之间不该互相坦诚吗？还是因为这是个现实的世界而在你的词典里，朋友其实不存在。存在着的是利益的关系。。。那我是谁？那你为什么又要如此的难过？那你为什么要说那些话？还是说所有的一切只不过是一场戏？

我想我真的是个小孩。不懂的人情世故，不懂的所谓的交际。。。我的词典很有限，不是敌就是友，在不然就只是acquaintances…这样的我或许真的不懂的待人处世之道。

这样的一个残局，到底还剩下什么？到底还有什么是值得我去争取的？

我心里有好多好多的问号。。。

一觉醒来才发现，这只不过是个现实的世界不是一场恶梦。。。

I hate the construction that is going on at my neighbourhood! It is driving me crazy! argh! So annoying! Annoying! I can’t sleep, I can’t study with the noise! sighs! It is just right outside my window!

I wish I know what went wrong along the way, I wish I know what I can do to salvage the situation… Perhaps it is all too late. Change is the only constant thing in life. What has changed has changed, it will not be the same ever again.

There are increasing number of spies… This is pure nonsense! Why are we affected? Aren’t we just part-timers? However, I really gotta say I feel super duper cheated by… Upon the realization, I feel like the relationship we had is just so superficial.

Now I am afraid. 请你们这些人不要对我那么好。。。这个游戏我真的玩不起。Tell me who can I trust and talk to? Work is going to be soo boring all over again. Not as if it is any better now…

I need to learn how to manage all these better.

I fell asleep while studying last night. Tired. I don’t know why but I feel so exhausted. I hate it whenever I fall asleep because it simply just means more work the next day. Perhaps I should study at my void deck at night so that there will be no beds, no kitchen to distract me…

I wish time will pass a little slower just a little slower. So that I can have more time. So that I can do more things. So that happy times can stay for a little longer…

I think I wish for too many things already it is not even my birthday…

-只有你，only You…

是我。我是长不大的小孩。。。无可救药。

对不起！真的对不起！对不起如果伤害了你。对不起如果我做错了什么。请你做回你自己。。。

天啊！我到底做了什么？

This is simply crazy. The drama unfolds… I hate politics to the core! Who can I trust now?

-sighs. speechless.

Stop.

Study!

Sleep…

Can’t wait to see my precious soon! Few more hours!

Can’t wait to go ah da’s house tonight! It has been really long since we meet up properly!

Don’t wanna go to work tomorrow at all… Almost everyone I know when I first came in is leaving…

Work is just work. but plus the people it is work + fun. Minus away the people, I am there only for the money.

Don’t do this please. You people are making me real uncomfortable. Is there a need?

I am not your toy. Neither am I your puppet nor the information machine.

-

“What if love comes knocking on your door? Nobody said I have to open it…”

-偶尔她也会想要任性几次，但她付不起那代价。。。

Miss all the singhealth peeps! Miss everyone there! Miss working there! Miss all the times we had! Finally met up with them for dinner! Had a nice time with them!

I wish the night didn’t ended so early. I wish time can go a little slower.

Just a little emo tonight. I feel so tired. So exhausted. I mean it. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually as well.

Why am I feeling so stressed up?! Why?! Why?! Why?!

I tried so hard, so hard but why am I still not doing well?

There are just soo many questions in my heart, in my mind.

I can’t wait for examination to be over. I can’t wait for holidays to come.

I need to get out of this thing! I need to stop being so discouraged. I need to stop being so depressed. I need to stop being so angsty. I need to stop being so stressed up!

Ireallydon’tknowwhatamIdoing…

-don’t let go of my hand

What forever gone?

Fine. I shall go on a hiatus here! hmph! =C rahhs!

Alright a short one before I leave for school if not somebody is gonna say why am I not updating it. hehh.

Yepps Yepps!

It is raining now! argh! A really nice weather to sleep in! sighs!

I need to study! I need to mug! I need motivation! no. I mean I need more time and energy to do all that!

rahhs!

Things that had happened around me recently has no doubt affected me in some ways. Not only just about work but of course what is going on in my life as well. Perhaps this explains why I am so easily irritated, easily annoyed and so frustrated.

Yesterday, I talked to my colleagues and they say I probably shouldn’t be so pessimistic. I shouldn’t always look things the way they do. Reason being they are adults and I am still young. They said that if I were to hold onto all these things it will affect my life perspective. Then again? hasn’t it already been affected? Of course I don’t keep them to my heart. I try to share sometimes nobody is obliged to listen to you at all. I really thank God that every job I have I meet really awesome people though everywhere I go there seems to be problems within the company itself but I guess this is just life. Just reality. Nopes. I am not being pessimistic just being realistic because I have to. I wish I can forget about all these but my responsibilities don’t allow me to and this is just one of the ways to protect myself.

hohos. not very short but well… I gotta go! hate morning classes!

urgh!

tonight is going to be a long long night. I hope I can pull through it.

As simple as that. Honestly, I have an issue with trust. It is not that I don’t trust anybody at all but sometimes I just find it really really hard to share about things. Certain issues, certain people, somehow I just can’t get them out of my mouth. I know it hurts.

If you really understand which I really doubt anyone will except for God. Who can really understand another person fully?

rahhs! My brother just broke my favourite glass.

If you ask me right now, what do I look for? Now, I only want someone who can know me. Someone who really understands me. But maybe tomorrow I don’t want it anymore.

I am pretty much a very confused kid right now. Confused about almost every single thing. I mean it when I say every single thing.

My gastritis is acting up. argh!

sheesh.

I know I will make it through. I know everything will be alright.

-Everyday I live, I thank You for it.

People has been asking me non-stop the question: Are you okay?

I think I am fine but when I say I am okay people will just go, “Are you sure you are okay?”

Why do you even bother to ask?

Seriously, so what if I am not? Does it matters?

So what if I am? Do you believe it?

I am really confused now. Am I not okay?

Then what is wrong? Why is it that I don’t know that something is wrong with me?

Yes, there may be many things going on in my life now. Transitions. Major changes. However, it is not even happening yet. Is it already affecting me? The question is, if it is not even happening yet how is it affecting me? It doesn’t make sense right.

Perhaps I am really not okay. Not okay with whatever that is happening right now. Not okay with all these things happening at the same time. Not okay with my studies. Not okay with my work. Not okay with almost every single thing.

Will people be happier if I say I am not okay?

Maybe people just can’t take the real me. This is me. Just the way I am.

Or perhaps it is winter now…

I have no idea. Just like how I have no idea who that idiotic person who messaged me is. I think that person probably picked the wrong time to do this because I am not okay.

-whatever.